So why do you still love him? Why do you still have feelings for him? I don’t understand it. He’s destroying you. Your love for him is destroying you from the inside out. So how come that even though he’s causing you so much pain you’re still in love with him?”, she asked and I shrugged.
“I don’t know”, I admitted and smiled bitterly. “I really don’t know. Maybe it’s his sweet smile - this smile that takes my breath away every time I see it. Or maybe it’s his eyes. His beautiful dark brown eyes that I seem to get lost in every time. Or maybe it’s his words. Maybe it’s those sweet words he utters when he talks to me; those sweet words that make my heart skip a beat. Or maybe it’s all of that. Maybe it’s all of him that makes me stay in love with him. His smile, his eyes, his words, his everything. Maybe it’s all of it. … Or maybe I love the destruction. Maybe I love the destruction he causes. Maybe I’m addicted to this destruction, to this pain. Maybe I’m forced to feel this way forever and maybe that’s why I’m still so in love with him”, I said and she looked at me, her eyes filled with worry.
“You need to get over him, you know that”, she said and I laughed bitterly.
“I know. It’s not like I don’t want to. I just can’t. I can’t get over this boy. I cannot get over him no matter what I do. Because every time I think I’m over him he comes back and makes me fall back in love with him just as hard as before. Or maybe even harder. And I don’t want it anymore. But I can’t help it. I cannot move on, no matter how hard I try.
First Chakra – Earth, grounding, home, work, finances, manifestation and being here. Located at the base of the spine, this chakra forms our foundation. It represents the element earth, and is therefore related to our survival instincts, and to our sense of grounding and connection to our bodies and the physical plane. Ideally this chakra brings us health, prosperity, security, and dynamic presence.
Second Chakra – Water, Emotional identity, oriented to self-gratification. The second chakra, located in the abdomen, lower back, and sexual organs, is related to the element water, and to emotions and sexuality. It connects us to others through feeling, desire, sensation, and movement. Ideally this chakra brings us fluidity and grace, depth of feeling, sexual fulfillment, and the ability to accept change.
Third Chakra – Fire, energy, ego, power, will, risk, digestion, motivation and action. This chakra is known as the power chakra, located in the solar plexus. It rules our personal power, will, and autonomy, as well as our metabolism. When healthy, this chakra brings us energy, effectiveness, spontaneity, and non-dominating power.
Fourth Chakra – Air, love, relationship, balance, breath, nurturing, and balance. This chakra is called the heart chakra and is the middle chakra in a system of seven. It is related to love and is the integrator of opposites in the psyche: mind and body, male and female, persona and shadow, ego and unity. A healthy fourth chakra allows us to love deeply, feel compassion, have a deep sense of peace and centeredness.
Fifth Chakra – Sound, vibration, communication, self-expression, being heard. This is the chakra located in the throat and is thus related to communication and creativity. Here we experience the world symbolically through vibration, such as the vibration of sound representing language.
Sixth Chakra – Light, vision, sight, perception, visualization, insight, dreaming. This chakra is known as the brow chakra or third eye center. It is related to the act of seeing, both physically and intuitively. As such it opens our psychic faculties and our understanding of archetypal levels. When healthy it allows us to see clearly, in effect, letting us “see the big picture.”
Seventh Chakra – Spiritual connection, beliefs, understanding, thought, and awareness. This is the crown chakra that relates to consciousness as pure awareness. It is our connection to the greater world beyond, to a timeless, spaceless place of all-knowing. When developed, this chakra brings us knowledge, wisdom, understanding, spiritual connection, and bliss.
I would much have rather lost my virginity at a party to someone I didn’t know and would never speak to again and be able to tell this huge amazing story. Instead of losing it to someone I love, who now, a year later, fucks me in the back of their car and doesn’t give a toss about me.
People don’t usually care about you as much as they say (via im-not-doing-okay)
HOLY FUCK
Do boys even get crushes on girls do boys even like girls do boys even feel things
